The Lord says there is none righteous , “No, not one!” But we love to say that our sin is not quite as bad as those other’s. “I thank God that I am not like that sinner over there!” The alcoholics at AA say, “at least I am not a child abuser.” The opiate user is glad they are not alcoholics, etc. The opposite happens when we compare the degree of our past abuse, or the severity of our illness or life situation. “Yours may be bad, but, poor me, mine is worse.” I remember some young schizophrenics who came to my groups regularly and whined about their own miserable situation compared to the others. After growing in grace and letting God bring good out of their plight, they did a complete turn around and said, ” I have problems but I’m just glad I don’t have to put up with your situation. They were even able to thank God for their illness and see that they were doing better as a result of their illness; less judgmental, more grateful for little things, more aware of their need for God and others etc. Every single human being has been victimized but the deadly thing about comparison of personal hurt is that the surface details are so different that we can all feel that ours is the worst. Just as it is impossible to say what is the difference between big sin and little sin; it is impossible to say what is big abuse, big victimization and little. I was just ignored as a child, so that is a “little” thing, right? Still I struggle today with the after effects of being invisible and with resultant trouble believing that GRACE is true for me.
VICTIM: Believing that because of what happened to me, I can not be expected to grab life to the full, take risks, give to others what I never received, be grateful for what I have, who is in my life, what I can do and who I am. Others should do for me, life owes me one etc. (Wallow in it.)
SURVIVOR: Struggling to do the best that I can and going the first mile to put up with and struggle along in my own strength always impaired by the past but doing my best. (Try to be strong)
CONQUEROR: Letting God pour out GRACE in abundance far greater than all my hurt and bring so much ministry and blessing that I can truly say “They meant it for evil but God meant it for blessing. (Let go and let God)
We are more that conquerors–through Christ and not through trying to make the best of a bad situation.
When someone’s sin causes me pain and loss:
- A.Who is sinned against? B. Who is the victim? C. Who stands to gain but usually is hurt by their own sinful response to the event?
- A. God. B. The sinner C. I stand to gain if I run to God for Grace to respond in his way.