A friend writes, in response to my last post “Or there are those of us who blame ourselves for everything and really do say, “It is all my fault,” feeling shame for pretty much all of life that goes wrong. Thankfully, our God of grace is always ready to tell us He will carry us through it all, and we just need to give it to Him.”
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————- In my last post I suggested the paradoxical idea that it would be a good thing if “It’s all my fault” because then I may yield to God and He can make a difference. (If part is someone else’s fault there is no guarantee they will yield to God). One must then also include Grace that “even if it is all my fault as the chief of sinners after all, I still have infinite worth, significance, strength, and security in the Lord.
It is always so hard to cover all sides. Even Paul found that if he emphasized Grace, people would sin (so Grace could abound) If we emphasize that we are created in Christ Jesus unto good works, then people forget about Grace and get tense about the good works.
Can you recall why self contempt, is PRIDE?
Pride is connecting my worth to myself and not to the completed work of Jesus and the price He paid for me.
If I feel superior and worthwhile apart from Him or get some of my worth from Him and some from myself then it is easy to see that as PRIDE.
But if I have infinite worth in Christ and feel worthless anyways, then my worth must come (or not come) from my efforts and not his.
Remember that Grace is built, by the brain designer, into the structure and chemicals of your brain. If you act as if Grace is not true, you will burn out. You are acting as if Grace were not true when you circle round and round on any concern and do not cast your cares on Him–you must not believe He cares for you or is competent to handle it. If you use shame and name calling to motivate yourself, you must not accept his opinion to be superior to yours (I John 1 19-21) If you call anyone including yourself “you dummy” you murder your spirit. If you compare with how your used to do or with how you think you should be doing or how others are doing you are unwise and ultimately criticising the one who made us all so different. If you use fear of the future and worry about tomorrow, (even food and clothing) you do not trust the provider. God gives no Grace for these things and they all burn out the brain.
I can always tell when I am taking responsibility for part of the current situation that belongs to God — I begin to feel stressed.
HOWEVER this need to let go of the negatives is not a denial that “in me dwells no good thing” that ” I am the chief of sinners forgiven” that”my ways do not work like His ways neither are my thoughts sane as His are” that “everything I am and have and do that is beneficial and good, was given to me and empowered by Him” INSTEAD IT IS FREEDOM TO ADMIT THAT I’M PROBABLY WORSE THAT EVEN MY ENEMIES THINK BUT SO WHAT!
This is hard, we so long to cling to some scrap of self generated worth and will even settle for self generated worthlessness!
NO when your hearts condemns you God is greater than your heart and there is therefore no condemnation in Christ Jesus to those who have accepted His payment for their sins.
Just remember to watch for defensiveness, burnout, self contempt and run to God and rest in him and ask him to take away some of your blindness and
BE THOU MY VISION O LORD OF MY LIFE.