To review, we use up our calming serotonin faster than we can replace it by:

  1. Circling on things we can’t change
  2. By making things bigger than they need to be
  3. Suppressing things we should look at,

Solution: Cast our cares on Him and move on.

The other day, I was talking to a friend and realized that there were a couple other ways we waste calming chemical in our heads.

Once we accept that we are powerless and can’t change something, then we move on to Resenting. We review the details of the problem, pointing out how unfair it all is. We wallow in the “if only”s and the “why me?”s.

We resent

  • Ourselves for not being able to handle everything
  • Others for not co-operating
  • Ultimately God for allowing it.

Sooner or later we will realize this leads nowhere, but, then accepting that we can’t fix it and there is no point to resenting, we:

  • Hop to another problem  and then to another.

It is as if we are addicted to observing and reviewing negatives.

The brain can’t support constant negatives. Hopping problems is just as draining as circling on the same one, but a little harder to feel the error of.

When I am talking with someone in this state, I keep asking them what I have come to believe is the most important question in mental health,

“So what are you supposed to do about that right now?”

“They then give me the “yes but, I can’t. But, it is a problem. And it is bad. And it is unfair”, OR they say, ” Well, here’s another problem!”

The way out? Remember your tool to say THANKS for this problem that I can’t fix! HELP me let go, SHOW ME what you want me to focus on instead.


  1. I posted but not sure it went through. Thanks for this message, Dr. Bell, it was just what I needed!!! Not like I didn’t know it, but sure needed the reminder.

  2. Very true and a much needed reminder! The second most important mental health question (for me) is, “What did Dr. Bell tell me the Bible says about this?”

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