It is so painful when we see that our own sinful choices have caused others pain and grief. It hurts even worse when then chose to respond to our actions by being bitter and destroying their own lives further. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves through the grace of God. To be bitter is to take the hurt done to us and perpetuate it and deepen it. The bitter person feels that they are somehow making the perpetrator pay for their crime, that they are protecting themselves from further hurt, that forgiveness would be tantamount to saying that the thing done to them was trivial. Of course the devil lies and all these ideas flow from him.

I remember a young man who was wasting his life in drugs and sex and talked his girlfriend into the same life. He then went on to find freedom in the Lord Jesus but she went on to die from the drugs. I’m sure the apostle Paul can relate to you when he affirmed that ” everyone should realize that I Paul am the worst sinner that ever live having killed God’s children in the name of religion” They were dead and no hope of bringing them back.

I can assure you that God not only forgives us but He loves to bring good from our evil and help us bring healing into the damage we have done wherever other’s freewill allows it.

Every human being is given enough grace to admit that their own reactions are sinful and to ask for help. Each bitter person can admit that the choice to be bitter is wrong and can ask God for help.

Here is an important question for you.When you sin and others are caused pain and loss—1.Who is sinned against? 2.Who is the victim of the sin? 3.Who stand to be blessed by the event?

Psalms 53:1-4 KJV  Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
against Thee,Thee ONLY have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

So the answer to question one is you did NOT sin against your step son you sinned against God, that is why He is justified in forgiving you and you are justified in accepting that forgiveness. Psalms 51:4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

I Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Galatians 6:7Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Psalms 73:3,11,12,18-21  For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?

Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.
Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction

How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.

As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins.
The answer to question two is: the sinner is the one damaged by the sin unless they run to God for mercy.
2 Corinthians chapter one 1-7. Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation

And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.
The answer to question three is: The one hurt will find that the suffering caused is a blessing to them.
 Of course they must flee to God for strength crying out HELP!THANKS!SHOW ME YOUR WILL! (There I go again with those three)
If he is damaged, it is always because of his sinful response to the pain inflicted. This is not an excuse to sin so others may grow but rather a focus of prayer that God might have mercy on you and on them to turn the hurt into beauty.
When we believe that our “victims” are justified in their bitterness, then we ourselves must not have learned that we have no logical basis for our own bitterness. When each of us have sent our creator to the cross by our own sins and yet have been forgiven, cleansed, adopted and married to the very one we offended, how can anything ever make sense other than wonder filled gratitude?

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