Go to psalms 51 and to the story of the faithful father in the new testament in Luke 15,11-32. Study these examples of repentance and you will come out with something like the following tool.
First: go to God and ask his forgiveness “against thee, thee only have I sinned”
Then: accept the forgiveness from God. I am now OK. Now in appologizing, I am letting God bless me by allowing me to restore what I have damaged. I am letting God reach out to my offended neighbor with the goal of restoring relationship and bringing healing to the ones I’ve hurt. (Remember that anything I do to make the apology hurt me less, will ruin the healing and benefit.)
I. God is convicting me of my bad attitude of __________________. (ex. pride, control, competition, , greed, lust, anger, envy, etc.
II. Which caused me to hurt you by_________________________. ( I need to be specific about what I did. A vague apology is actually an attack-“I am so wonderful that I am willing to say sorry when I can’t tell what I’ve done it is so small. You are so horrible you get all bent out of shape over this little thing.)
III. I would like to minister into the damage I’ve done by ____________ (I need to offer something real and practical, my time and money, words of encouragement and appreciation etc.)
IV. If I were in your shoes I’d have trouble taking a risk on me. ( I must not add reasons why they owe me forgiveness)
V. I want you to know that, because I know that I could mess up again, I am obtaining the following accountability and help__________. I am getting help because I need it. I plan to continue for as long as it take for God to change me.
VI. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me and take a risk on relationship with me maybe we could start rebuilding with a small step such as_________.(I must not ask to go back to “business as usual”-that would indicat that I’m only concerned about getting rid of my consequences not in building real trustworthy relationship.)
VII. Would you please forgive me? Acts 19: 15
LORD TEACH ME TO DELIGHT IN YOUR WAYS AND TO LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO RESTORE OTHERS WHERE I HAVE CAUSED HURT AND TO DELIGHT IN THE GIFT OF BEING ABLE TO DO SO.