For examples go to psalms 51 and to the story of the faithful father in the new testament in Luke 15,11-32. Study these examples of repentance and you will come out with something like the following tool.
First: go to God and ask his forgiveness “against thee, thee only have I sinned”
Then: accept the forgiveness and reach out to your offended neighbor with the goal of restoring relationship and bringing healing to the ones we’ve hurt. You are now OK now you are letting God bless you by allowing you to restore what you have damaged. (See
I. God is convicting me of my bad attitude of __________________. (ex. pride, control, competition, , greed, lust, anger, envy, etc.
II. Which caused me to hurt you by_________________________. (Be specific about what you did. A vague apology is actually an attack-“I am so wonderful that I am willing to say sorry when I can’t tell what I’ve done it is so small. You are so horrible you get all bent out of shape over this little thing.)
III. I would like to minister into the damage I’ve done by ____________ (Offer something real and practical, time money words of encouragement and appreciation etc.)
IV. If I were in your shoes I’d have trouble taking a risk on me. (Do not add reasons why they owe you forgiveness)
V. I want you to know that because I know that I could mess up again, I am obtaining the following accountability and help.
VI. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me and take a risk on relationship with me maybe we could start with a small step such as_________.(Do not ask to go back to business as usual-that indicated that you’re concerned about getting rid of the consequences not in building real trustworthy relationship.)
VII. Would you please forgive me? Acts 19: 15
LORD TEACH ME TO DELIGHT IN YOUR WAYS AND TO LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO RESTORE OTHERS WHERE I HAVE CAUSED HURT AND TO DELIGHT IN THE GIFT OF BEING ABLE TO DO SO.